Stuck On Him

Having yourself into a guy for a looong time but that guy doesn't even notice you is a lame, right?? It's sooooo freaking lameee! But sadly, it's actually happening to me.

I'm attracted to this charming guy, let's say his name is Mr.M, maybe since i was in junior high. He was my senior, a year before me. Damn! Even he was charming already since we're in junior high! This boy is totally perfect in my eyes, physically and in personality. He's genious in his study, got into a top university in this country, loves playing soccer and into another sports, playing guitar beutifully, high-tech, and comes from a good wealthy family. He's my Micheal Moscovitz, my Mitchell Hertzog, and my Clark Kent. Yes, He's that hot! at least, for me...

Haven’t you heard I’m stuck on a verse I’m stuck on a boy who fills me joy
I knew I was wrong to jump straight on into
This picture so pretty but he is so pretty to me

And what lame is, saya secara pribadi ngga pernah terlibat kontak yg dekat dengan dia. Sama sekali! komunikasi pun bisa dihitung pake jari. He just knew that i am exist, knew that there's an ordinary girl called Raisya outside his world. I'm too shy to even texting him, or chat with him. Tapi dengan konyolnya saya mengecek account facebook dan account-accountnya yang lain almost everyday! That's really pathetic!

And he doesn’t know just how far I would go
Just to kiss him, he doesn’t know how I pine

The worst part is, he's in relationship with someone now. Tapi sebenarnya dia memang selalu terikat sih. Saya dengan bodohnya hanya bisa melihat perjalanan cintanya dari jauh tanpa mau terlibat di dalamnya karena saya terlalu takut.. takut karena saya bukan siapa-siapanya. Saya senang bila dia putus (hehe..) tapi pun ngga pernah berbuat apa-apa, dan hanya bisa menggerutu dan mengeluh kepada para sahabat terdekat saya bila ia sudah punya pacar lagi. Yeah very silly!

So I’ll make whirlpools and watch him sparkle

And we’ll make love make magic

But I couldn’t tell you Just how long it takes you
Cause words don’t make What I make with him

(Kate Walsh - Your Song)

Lalu entah mengapa Tuhan malah membuat saya bingung dengan menghadirkan sosok yang mirip sekali dengan dia, physically, di dekat saya sekarang! Hanya secara fisik tapi jelas-jelas itu berdampak sangat besar terhadap saya. Damn it! everytime I look into that person face I always imagine that it's really Mr.M I'm talking to. But a second later, I do have realize that it's not him. It's just another shape of him. But what does it mean God? Why You have to put another shape of him surround me??


XOXO,