So?

What am I doing exactly?

Love has never been this complicated?

Or does love has to be like this? If so, then, what I had been experienced before was not love at all.

Seriously, if only I could surge your brain and pull it out to read what’s on it, I would!

Deep down, we always know we will never work out. But, somehow we keep on going.

I’ve been trying to make distance, but I don’t wanna suffer. Though, I suffer anyway in order to maintain my feelings when we are together.

I always amazed of how you can always get a grip and push your feelings in. While I seem like always be that idiot who’s longing for you every single day.

You said, you try to push your feelings away so I could do that too and eventually also throw my feelings away. Now in reality, it’s not working. So, what would you do to me?

I find it very funny to myself that I can keep it going this far. It’s weird and almost a magical experience for me.

You know, I watch this movie a few times. There’s a line in this movie and it says, “If there’s any kind of magic it must be in attempt of understanding someone and sharing something”.

For me, this magical feeling of me towards you might be the result of me trying to understand you and sharing things with you. Vice versa. You’re also trying to understand me and share things with me, aren't you?

I look forward and I see nothing but this grey thick misty road lie ahead upon us. I would really love to holding hands with you and walk get through that thick mist together. But I’d be fine if you don’t want us to even get started.

Truth is, I just don’t wanna missing out knowing you. I’d rather be hurt like this than have to never find you at all.

I have no bitterness, really. A little bit of obsession maybe, but I don’t have any hopes or agendas towards you.

When I decided to cherish every moment with you, I meant it. I’m willing to take the risk, no matter how painful it is.

I’m sorry for being a train wreck. I’m sorry if I’m too clingy.

Guess I’m just a hopeless romantic, an expert of making a fool out of myself.

I promise to stop. I just don’t know when.

"I won't make excuses. They just all seem useless, you don't have the time. I guess I'll take my chances now that I know love is on the line" - Michelle Featherstone (Careful).

photo source: Deviantart

xoxo,

Tired

I’m tired of waiting

I’m tired of being misled

I’m tired of being misinterpreted

I’m tired to be the second

I’m tired to pretend and say I’m okay while I’m really not

I’m tired to be cool

I’m tired to be untrusted

I’m tired to cry

I’m tired of too much thinking, wondering

I’m tired to even imagine good things about us

I’m tired of not having you around

I’m tired of not being with you all the time

I’m tired for never get enough of you

I’m tired cause I can’t love you in the way I’m supposed to…

 xoxo,

 

Another (Weird) Evening (With You) ...

Aku duduk di sebuah kursi plastik biru. Di lengan kananku masih menggantung sebuah tas kanvas. Tas kerja kuletakkan di dekat kaki kiri ku. Di pangkuanku, asap mengepul menggoda keluar dari sepiring sate padang yang baru matang.

Kamu duduk persis di sebelah ku, radius jarak kira-kira 10 cm. Kamu duduk di kursi plastik merah. Asap juga keluar mengepul dari mulutmu. Kamu menunggu nasi goreng selesai dimasak.

Kita duduk di pinggir jalan yang sama. Di belakang foodstall yang sama. Entah untuk yang ke berapa kalinya.

"Kamu pernah ngga waktu sekolah dulu, ngerasain sesi pengayaan dari guru?"

"Pernah, pernah.."

"Terus, waktu guru kamu mulai nanya-nanya ke teman-temanmu, kamu merasa pertanyaan-pertanyaannya gampang banget dan kamu pasti bisa jawab. Sampai guru kamu mengajukan pertanyaan yang sulit banget yang kamu ngga bisa jawab. Dalam hati kamu berharap, 'jangan gue, jangan gue yg dapet.. please jangan gueee..'. Tapi ternyata, eh, malah kamu yg dapat."

"Hahaha iya iya pernah banget.."

"Aku seriiing banget ngalamin yang kayak gitu. Sampai sekarang pun masih sama kayaknya."

"Maksud kamu?"

"Iya misalnya sekarang, orang-orang yang ngga aku harapkan tertarik sama aku malah naksir aku, sedangkan yang aku harap-harap malah ngga.."

Aku lirik kamu. Hati-hati melihat ekspresi wajahmu.

"Memang iya ya? Hmmm.. Kenapa ya?"

Geez! I really hate that poker face of yours!

 "Aku rasa aku dikutuk", aku datar kan ekspresi wajah ku sedatar mungkin.

Kamu tergelak.

"Hahaha, kok dikutuk?"

"Iya dikutuk. Habis aneh banget. Aku rasa hukum 'The Secret, Law of Attraction' ngga berlaku sama sekali buat aku ya?"

Aku malas melirik ke kamu lagi. Paling juga datar lagi ekspresimu.


Nasi goreng datang. Kamu girang. Lalu makan.


I wonder, apakah kamu memikirkan kata-kataku saat kamu lahap nasi goreng mu itu?  

I wish...

Hah, dasar gila!

Source: http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs18/f/2007/158/5/b/as_the_evening_falls_by_Linlith.jpg

With love,

Supposed To...

Supposed to be so easy
Turned out it's a wish merely

Supposed to be harmless
Turned out to be moments of pointless

Supposed to be heaven
Even heaven knows this not it

Supposed to be us
But turned out to be you
And her
Again...

For shortening a supposed to be frantically long great journey,
I supposed to say thank you..

Red Balloon

Someone gave me a balloon.
A very beautiful one. Red was the color. Glossy and shiny all around.

Like a little child I was beyond happy.
Accepted it with a wide smile on me. I looked up at the giver like I couldn't believe of my luck.

I was so happy...

I played with that red glossy shiny balloon all day. At the end of the day I was smitten for that balloon.
The giver kissed me on forehead.

The giver kissed me on forehead, right before he in all of a sudden took out that balloon away from my little hand.
He said, "the time is up, I should give this balloon back to its owner."
He left me just like that. He left me in the dark.

I still want to play with that balloon, I said, with all my might and all of my tears.




xoxo,

Photo Source: Deviantart

Menanti 50:20

Jejak kaki basah dan lengket di ubin putih gading
tersaruk-saruk menahan angin dingin
Berusaha untuk lebih cepat dan lebih cepat
Kejar waktu jangan sampai terlambat


Cepat tak menjamin tidak telat
Yang ditunggu seringnya tak bertemu
Mungkin kalanya tak satu
Tampaknya waktu dan tempat belum mempersilakan
Malah curiga kian memisahkan


Mungkin kalanya belum satu...


Belum..


Satu..


Ah, aku suka kata "belum"
Memberikan perspektif baru, membuka harapan yg sempat terkulum
Menanti jadi terasa kian ber-asa
50:20 ku tunggulah waktunya kita berjumpa






Selasa, Stasiun Sudirman Jakarta, 
25 September 2012

What is Love?

So, my friend posted this picture on twitter and it simply touches me. Right here *nunjuk ke hati*

So giving love and being loved back is not a hard thing to do. Matter of fact, it seems like the most natural and the easiest thing human can do, though sometimes we forget to put our mind into it. This Emma K., age 6, somehow reminded me of it. :DD

"Love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around". (Love Actually - 2003)

Xoxo,

Raisya

Graduation Buzz

I’m about to graduate. Yeah. The day will finally be here anytime soon, someday in the midst of this year’s September.

Am I thrilled? Sure am! Except for the fact that I still have to pay for that grad ceremony, I’m sort of thrilled to be finally able to get dressed up in beautiful kebaya and proudly wearing the toga..And then people will give me some flowers..Photos..Cries..Laughs…Friends..Lover (if I’m lucky enuff, yes)…

But then, I recently have been thinking about things I wanna do after grad. The more I think of it, life after college would never be as fun as I had back in college. I had suffered, off course, cause of those killer subjects. They were like some greatest pain I’ve ever had in my life so far (seriously, ga lebay, more on that later). But I gotta admit, my life would feel a bit dull without ‘em. And the friends I have in college are incomparable. Come to think of it, my college life was counted as pretty sweet.

Still there is some unsatisfaction regarding my non-thesis graduation. Yes, I’m graduating without having to do thesis like other college students. Yes, the non-thesis way of graduation is a thing in our university, especially in my faculty. I’m pretty sick of some people underestimate me for having to graduate without thesis, and I’m pretty sick of explaining it to them. The thing is, remember some damn hard stuff that I’d got to go through in my academic life? Well, almost every kid in my faculty has experienced it. Study in our faculty would be as tough as study in faculty of tech or even faculty of medicine. IT IS TOUGH.

Why is it?

For instance, in my case, studied in Chinese Studies Program was like giving my youth time to work in labor for the second Industrial Revolution. To be able to survive in this major you have to pass 6 painful levels of Chinese modern language, plus 2 levels of Chinese classical language, and some other hot stuffs. For Chinese modern language itself, if you failed on the same level twice, then it’d be the end of you. Finiti. 结束了. Sorry, but you can’t continue your study there.

To be able to graduate exactly four years, you also have to put a serial of darn hard work. For example, if you didn’t pass the first level of Chinese modern lang, you have to repeat it, right? But you can’t repeat it as soon as the new term started, no, you’ve to wait for next year to be able to repeat it. It off course would costs you some more time to hang out in college. Just imagine if you didn’t pass the first level of Chinese lang, then you’d wait, you’d repeat it, you’d pass to second level, but ooooh crap, you didn’t pass the second level! So there, the story would repeat itself. So on so forth and when you realized it, you absolutely can’t finish college on time. Don’t even wish to write one hell of a thesis cause time is running out.

Those stories happen in my surrounding. I have to bite my tongue off every time I see my friends failed, drop out, or have to stay longer in college. That applies to other majors in my faculty, I think, more or less.

I consider myself lucky cause I was able to survive and got through everything. I’m not even that smart and God only knows I speak Chinese just like a Chinese baby that’s just started learning to speak. I was just working my ass off, swallowing all of the pain, bearing lots of sleepless nights, drinking tons of coffees, surviving bad traffic and crap public transportation, while trying to maintaining my sanity.

So please, don’t ever judge ‘em who are graduating from non-thesis way. Those years of hard work probably are equal with one or two of your semesters doing the thesis. Besides, your thesis would never be the thing that guarantees your success after college. Camkan yah!

Okay, so, happy graduation for me! Write more later. Ciao!

xoxo,

Three Stuffs I Want to Buy in Korea

Berwisata ke manapun, apalagi ke luar negeri, rasanya tidak lengkap kalau pulang tidak membawa oleh-oleh. Demikian juga jika dapat berwisata ke Korea. Walau sekarang hanya bisa berandai-andai saja, inilah tiga barang utama yang harus harus harus saya beli kalau dapat kesempatan berkunjung ke Korea. Mungkin juga bisa jadi referensi buat teman-teman yang punya rencana untuk pergi kesana. Enjoy!

1. Hanbok

I always mesmerized by different culture in each country, especially by the uniqueness of its national costume. Inginnya sih, tiap jalan-jalan ke luar negeri harus beli satu atau dua macam pakaian tradisionalnya. Jadilah, Hanbok pasti akan jadi salah satu benda utama yang akan saya buru kalau saya berkesempatan ke Korea. Tidak harus yang mahal dan mewah, cukup Hanbok sederhana yang pastinya akan jadi penanda dan kenangan bahwa saya pernah ke Negara Insam (Ginsaeng) itu.

Even Britney Spears tried Hanbok when she was in Korea.

2. CD dan Fangoods 2PM

I’m a big big big Hottest (julukan buat fans 2PM), so pasti saya akan menyempatkan diri seharian untuk hunting fangoods, merchandise dan CD-CD 2PM yang ngga dijual di Indonesia, pokoknya menambah koleksi saya yang belum seberapa banyaknya! Selain pasti rasanya lebih puas beli langsung di sana, siapa tahu juga barang-barang yang saya beli bisa langsung ditanda-tangani para personil 2PM kalau saya beruntung ketemu mereka nanti. Wish me luck guys!

Lightsticks dan Photobook 2PM. I want the photobook so much! >.<

3. Korean Spoon Set

Nah, yang ini cuma Korea yang punya! Sendok dan sumpit Korea ini benar-benar khas. Sumpitnya terbuat dari stainless steel yang tipis dan lebih panjang darpiada ukuran sumpit kebanyakan. Sendoknya pun bergagang lebih panjang. Karena keunikannya, saya jadi penasaran pengen punya. At least, satu set harus saya beli!

FYI, Spoon Set ini adalah pilihan yang sangat bagus untuk dijadikan hadiah karena sendok dan sumpit berwarna perak menyimbolkan kejayaan dan keberuntungan. Zaman dahulu sendok dan sumpit semacam ini hanya digunakan oleh raja dan bangsawan loh!

Another beautiful Korean Spoon set

This is another post for Touch Korea Tour Event that I've been participating in. Feel free to give your comment and wish me luck and 감사합니다 ! ^^

xoxo,

My Top Three Things I Wanna Do in Korea

Korea sudah menjadi salah satu destinasi wajib travelling saya sejak dulu. Apalagi sejak kena imbas Hallyu Wave atau Korean Wave saya jadi semakin tertarik dengan Negara Dae Janggeum ini. banyak sekali hal yang mau saya lakukan di sana. Tiga hal di bawah ini mungkin adalah hal-hal utama yang mau saya lakukan sesampainya saya di sana. Check ‘em out!

1. Wisata ke Andong Hahoe Village & Korea Folk Village

Nah, buat pencinta drama atau film kolosal Korea wajibbanget kedesa yang berlokasi di Andong, Gyeongsangbuk-do ini. Bahkan tempat ini sudah ditetapkan menjadi World Heritage Site atau situs warisan budaya dunia oleh UNESCO karena merupakan desa yang masih melestarikan bentuk arsitektur, tradisi masyarakat, buku-buku tua dan peninggalan berharga lainnya dari zaman dinasti Joseon. Berfoto di rumah-rumah tradisional Korea lengkap dengan Hanbok adalah rencana saya. Selain itu saya juga ingin menjajal kuliner tradisional Korea dan belajar sedikit tentang kesenian tradisional seperti Tari Topeng yang terkenal di desa ini. Jadi, tempat ini ada di list teratas tempat yang harus saya kunjungi kalau jalan-jalan ke Korea!

Mask Dance (Tari Topeng) di Hahoe Village

2. Belanja dan Hang out di Hongdae Area

Tempat ini bisa dibilang centernya anakmuda di Seoul. Letaknya di distrik Mapo-gu, Seoul. Nama Hongdae sendiri merupakan kependekan dari Hongik Daehagyo (Hongik University) yang ada di daerah itu dan dikenal sebagai pusat kesenian anak muda di Korea Selatan. So, di sini saya mau ngerasain gimana rasanya jadi anak gaul Korea dan nonton pertunjukkan seni kecil-kecilan seperti theater atau band-band indie Korea.

Street in Hongdae

Tiap hari sabtu juga biasanya digelar pasar yang menjual barang kerajinan tangan anak-anak muda dan mahasiswa Hongdae, yang selain terjangkau harganya juga pastinya unik-unik dan kemungkinan ngga ada di tempat lain, pas banget kalau mau belanja untuk oleh-oleh. Seru lah pokoknya! You definitely can feel the youth atmosphere when you’re in Hongdae!

Hongdae flea's market

3. Berkunjung ke JYP Entertainment

Absolutely will do it! I’m a big big big fan of JYP Nation (sebutan untuk para artis yang bernaung di bawah agency ini), terutama 2PM danMissA. Saya juga kagum dan pengen banget bertemu Big Boss-nya JYPE ini, none other than Mr. JYP a.k.a Jin-young Park himself. Menurut saya dia itu genious musik dan bertangan dingin dalam mengorbitkan musisi-musisi dan artis-artis yang berkualitas di usianya yang terbilang masih muda. Di usianya yang terbilang masih muda, dia sukses menjadi one of the greatest tycoon in Korea and one of the most influential man in Korean music industry. So, 2PM and JYP wait for meee!

Really want to meet these folks!

Hope you enjoy my second post for Touch Korea Tour Event!

감사합니다 ^^

xoxo,

Three Korean Dishes I'd Die to Try For

Dalam beberapa tahun terakhir ini, kuliner asal Korea terus menjamur di beberapa kota besar di Indonesia, khususnya Jakarta. Banyak restoran baru bermunculan di tiap sudut ibukota. Dulu orang-orang hanya kenal kuliner Korea melalui restoran Gang Gang Sulai dan Han Gang, itu pun hanya segelintir yang tahu karena harga makanan-makanan Korea ini relatif mahal. Sekarang, rupa-rupa restoran Korea ada di mana-mana. Dari mulai yang mewah dan berkesan formal seperti restoran-restoran yang biasanya ada di hotel atau jalan-jalan protocol di Jakarta, sampai restoran kecil di mall-mall yang lebih bergaya anak muda dan ramah untuk dompet.

Saya sebagai pecinta wisata kuliner pun ngga mau ketinggalan. Walalupun belum begitu banyak restoran Korea yang saya singgahi, tapi rasa khas kuliner negeri ginseng itu sepertinya sudah mulai akrab dengan lidah melayu saya ini. Mulai dari berbagai macam olahan Kimchi, Tteokbokki, Ramyeon, Bulgogi, Jap Chae sampai yang terakhir saya sempat mencoba Sundubu. Tapi nih, jujur saya masih penasaran banget sama beberapa jenis makanan otentik Korea yang bakal saya sebutin di bawah ini.Kalau suatu hari saya dapat kesempatan ke Korea, tiga makanan ini mungkin adalah makanan yang akan saya cicipi pertama kali...

1. Samgyetang

Literally translates as “ginseng chicken soup”. Makanan ini terkenal sehat karena mengandung ginseng kebanggan Korea. Tahu sendiri donk, ginseng manfaatnya banyak banget buat kesehatan dan vitalitas tubuh. Selain sehat, buat saya makanan ini juga unik penyajiannya. Lihat aja fotonya, ayam utuh satu ekor berendam manis di kuah supnya. Looks so interesting!

Fun fact of Samgyetang: Biasanya banyak disajikan waktu musim panas di Korea. Why? Simply karena nutrisi yang ada di dalam sup dan ayam bermanfaat untuk menggantikan nutrisi yang hilang karena keringat dan menambah energi untuk beraktifitas di musim panas.

2. Dak Galbi

Yang satu ini termasuk makanan populer. Begitu lihat foto di atas ini pun saya langsung ngiler! Daging ayam yang dipotong-potong dadu, diasinkan dengan gochujang (chilli pepper paste) , terus disajikan dengan tumisan kol, potongan kentang manis, daun bawang, irisan bawang Bombay, dan Tteok (kue beras) khas Korea. Di bayangan saya, rasanya pasti manis-manis pedas. Pasti eksotis dan unik di lidah! Hmmmm..

Fun fact of Dak Galbi: Di tahun 70-an, karena harganya yang relatif terjangkau di Korea, Dak Galbi punya nama lain yaitu “University Student’s Galbi”, dengan kata lain makanan andalan mahasiswa yang lagi bokek! Tapi jangan salah, Dak Galbi juga jadi kebanggan kota Chuncheon, provinsi Gangwon. Bahkan kota ini punya festival tahunan khusus untuk Dak Galbi di musim gugur.

3. Naengmyeon

Naengmyeon secara harafiah berarti Cold Noodles atau Mie dingin. Yup, mie nya beneran dingin karena pake es batu. Mie yang dipakai adalah mie panjang dan tipis bikinan sendiri, terbuat dari tepung gandum yang adonannya ngga lengket. Rasa Naengmyeon sendiri terletak pada kuah kaldunya yang gurih (kaldu ayam atau sapi) dan biasanya dicampur kuah kimchi air yang mengandung rasa lobak, daun bawang dan cabai hijau. Jadilah rasa Naengmyeon yang kaya. Jangan lupa es batu ditambahkan sebelum siap disantap. Makanan ini populer juga saat musim panas karena dingin dan menyegarkan.

Fun fact of Naengmyeon: Merupakan kuliner asli Korea Utara. Jadilah Naengmyeon ini makanan Korea Utara yang paling populer di Korea Selatan. Another fun fact, saking populernya makanan ini juga menginspirasi sebuah lagu berjudul sama “Naengmyeon” yang dinyanyikan oleh Jessica ‘Girl’s Generation’ (salah satu girl group paling populer di Korea Selatan) dan Park Myeong-su (MC papan atas Korea Selatan).

That's it postingan pertama saya untuk Touch Korea Tour Event.

감사합니다 ^^

xoxo,